That is what I have done the last year. sometimes that is all that I could do. Sometimes I did it better than others and sometimes tears were shed. I sit here as I become nostalgic about this moment in time just 12 months ago. I was sitting in my house very uncomfortable. I knew the time was upon me to have two new additions to our family. I was excited beyond belief! I was also scared out of my mind. How was I going to care for 2 babies? How was I going to be a good mom to 4 kids? Being a parent is so much more than taking care of their physical needs. It is reading to them, bathing them, teaching them, cuddling them, and holding their hand when life gets scary. I often think about my own parents and how wonderful they are. I now understand how hard it is to raise children. My parents had 5 and we are all great people today. At least I think so.
Now I sit here listening to Carter babble mamama before he goes to sleep and Lily giggling at him. I hope that this year has been as good for them as it has for me. I don't know the number of hours of sleep I have missed or the number of times I have been puked on. But it is all worth it when I see them smile and crawl as fast as they can to me when I walk in a room. My tired eyes, arms and hands wouldn't trade it for the world.
I couldn't have survived without Jeff. He works 60 hour weeks most weeks and still has time to help with the kids, do chores and be the favorite parent of the older two by far! Speaking of Alexa and Dallin, they have been rockstars too. Life is a little crazy around here most of the time and they have really stepped up to the plate. Getting diapers, playing with babies, picking up toys and helping me get a sane minute to myself. This year has been one of survival but I would do it all again if I had to. I just really hope I don't have to:)
My babies will be one tomorrow. I am kind of sad because they are my last babies. I know that our family is complete, but it is kind of sad that I won't have that newborn high again. For now I will just look at pictures of my perfect children and know that I am blessed.